Helicopter Parents

Helicopter Parents

Do you know what these are?  In the world of higher education, helicopter parents are soccer moms on steroids.  They are the parents that want to do everything for their children.  Speak for them, think for them, do for them, etc.   If possible, they are over parenting.

We all know parents like this.  If you do not know a parent like this, parents know you.  Just kidding.  Kinda.  No, really, I am kidding.  Or am I.  HA!

I have worked in higher education for the better part of 15 years.  I have a master’s degree in Higher Education Administration.  I have worked in small private liberal arts universities, large public universities and the community college.  You may think I have seen it all, but honestly, when you work with college students they can surprise you at every turn! 

I am not an expert on parenting, nor do I play one on TV.   I am a parent, however, and typically by late January each year I have already lost the Parent of the Year award.   I would not classify myself as a helicopter parent, but I am involved in my child’s education.  What is the difference?  The answer to that question is more of a dissertation than a blog entry, but let me sum it up in one sentence.  The difference is that I support not direct, I advise not answer for, and I, too, love unconditionally.

College is a time for students to explore.  This has taken on the wrong meaning over the years, but exploration is critical.  They need to explore majors, explore involvement opportunities, explore friendships, explore interests, etc.  It is a time of a student’s life to begin to grow into an adult.  Times have shifted a bit, however.  Today, people are still considered kids into their mid to late 20s.  More and more kids move home after college.  We all know that parenting never stops.  These days however, we are parenting adults in ways we have not done with past generations.

What is the best way to help your college student be successful?  First and foremost, my recommendation is to be involved.  Be their support.  Be their sounding board.  Be their parent.  Second, allow them space to solve their own problems, remove their own obstacles and speak for themselves.  Colleges and Universities at all levels have professional staff members and faculty that teach, mentor and advocate for students every day.  Third, push your student to connect with the individuals on their campus that can help them.  For reference some of those are their professors and their academic advisor.  These folks know how to navigate the system and connect your student to the proper resource to assist them.  Fourth, you should regularly tell them you love them.  If they are away at college, send a care package.  Nothing says I love you more than a gift box full of delicious treats!  If you have extra, I take them as well! 

Finally, for the helicopter parents in you… It’s okay to hover above.  Just hover a bit higher so your kids don’t feel your breeze in their face.